Chapter 9: How comfort heals wounds



Recap:

Ninitiek chuckled, “Really now? This coming from…” Ninitiek never got to finish her sentence. Her eyes widened and she suddenly started falling out of the sky, landing rather painfully. The same time Ninitiek went unconscious Myt also dropped out of the sky. He was unconscious, but alive. Miyuka had also passed out from all the shock.

Kuren slowly drifted to the ground and looked around him sadly. He took his mask off and looked at it. The crack that had been forming in it had worsened. That was bad. It was bad, but necessary to save everyone. With a sigh he put the mask back on. He then held his scythe in the air and slashed horizontally in the air. The surrounding area started getting blurry, changing. Kuren cast a glance at the starless sky and smiled sadly to himself.

“…this never happened.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Miyuka looked at the sky for the umpteenth time that minute and sighed. She could barely believe they were just three hours away from the city. Blue skies, fresh air, green grass… And within a couple of hours there’d be tall buildings to boot. This was a very welcome change scenery. Much better than what she had to suffer through while in The Darkside.

The Darkside… What exactly had happened there anyway? She remembered arriving there; she remembered fighting monsters almost every single day, but other than that… Why had they left? What was the reason? Her mind was nothing but a hazy blur when she thought back to their stay.

Miyuka stopped walking and closed her eyes, trying to remember. She remembered waking up one night after having had another nightmare. Feeling a little uneasy after having had that dream she decided to walk around and get some fresh air – well, as fresh as Darkside possible. Then Myt came and asked her what was wrong, and when he walked away she clung to him, only to get pushed away. The next day they continued their journey, when they suddenly got ambushed. She remembered Ninitiek’s pained expression when she took the blow from a monster’s attack originally meant for her. She remembered killing it and then her herself finishing the monster and then…

Then the memories ended.

But is just didn’t add up. What happened after? After they killed the monster…surely more had happened. After that her memory skipped straight to the next day, when Myt told her that they were heading back to Centropolis. When she asked him why they were leaving all of a sudden, Myt simply replied with, “Shut up and follow.”

So she did.

A few moments passed before Miyuka finally noticed that everyone had stopped and was now staring at her. She blushed and put a hand on the back of her head, apologized and continued acting like nothing was wrong. Everyone knew that something was wrong, though.

Ninitiek couldn’t remember much, either. All she could remember was jumping in front of Miyuka to protect her from a monster attack. She remembered pain, then she had passed out. There were only two people who remembered what had happened that faithful night.

Myt and Kuren.

Of course, neither would tell either of the clueless girls what happened that night. It was better that way. The memory gap would be annoying, but it really was for the best. At least, that was what Kuren said and Myt believed.

Everyone in the group were so deep in their thoughts that they didn’t even notice that they were already in Centropolis until Miyuka almost got hit by a cyclist. Talk about mega-spacing off.

Sierrs seemed to be quite happy to see the group again. Everyone else, though, didn’t seem to share Sierrs’ happiness. Sierrs let them in and quickly dashed to his room, trying to clean it up a bit. Once he was done Miyuka and Ninitiek were allowed in. He had been happy to see them, yes, but every seemed to be unusually tense and he felt like he’d be intruding if he asked what the problem was. If any of them needed his help, they would ask. He knew Myt at least would.

Miyuka immediately disappeared into the room, Ninitiek not too far behind. Myt decided to go for a walk and Kuren had already disappeared ages ago. Sierrs looked around his now empty living quarters and sighed. Well, he was used to the empty room anyway.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Miyuka looked around in Sierrs’ bedroom. Not much had changed since the last time they visited. Actually, nothing…had changed since the last time they visited. Too bad she couldn’t say the same for herself. She sighed and went to sit on the bed she had become rather accustomed to, letting herself fall. She closed her eyes and tried, once again, to remember what happened not too long ago.

Ninitiek still stood in front of the door, looking around a little unsure. She had always felt a little uncomfortable in Sierrs’ rooms for reasons unknown. She shook her head and figured it was all in her head and she told herself to relax. She slowly made her way to the bed Miyuka was currently occupying and sat on the edge. She looked at Miyuka for a while and took a deep breath before speaking. “…Miyuka?”

Miyuka opened her eyes slowly and blinked up at Ninitiek. She hadn’t had much time try to remember, but then again, she wasn’t very sure she could ever remember on her own. “Yes?” She inquired curiously.  Ninitiek rarely spoke unless spoken to or when she had to say something she deemed important. And really, maybe talking would lighten her mood a little.

Ninitiek started unconsciously lifted her left hand to play with her sleeve. She looked away nervously, took a deep breath and looked at the mage-in-training once again. “I wanted to know…if you were alright. You seem…troubled…these days, and wanted to know if there was anything I could aid you with.”

Miyuka sat upright in the bed and looked in front of her. She wanted to say she was fine. She wanted to say that there was nothing to worry about, but honestly…she was tired. She was tired of lying to herself and she tired of lying to others. After a couple of second passed between the two Ninitiek seemed to want to say something again, but Miyuka was faster. “No, I’m not alright. Nothing is alright. Everything feels so…wrong.” She then turned around fully to face Ninitiek, looking completely lost and eyes brimming with liquid which treated to spill at any given moment, “Ninitiek, what’s happening? Why can’t I remember?” She stopped, bit her lip and took a few deep breaths to compose herself.

In all honesty Ninitiek didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know that Miyuka was also suffering from spontaneous amnesia like her. She knew that something that happened recently must be bothering her, but she had no idea that… And what did she say? She who was just as clueless, or even more so, than her? A near unbearable silence reigned between two magically adept girls.

It was Miyuka who broke the silence in the end, though. Looking away from Ninitiek, feeling like she had said something that she shouldn’t have. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that. How could you know? How could you know when and where everything went so wrong? How could you know what Myt and Kuren are thinking? How could you know…” Miyuka tensed up when she felt something wrap itself around her. When she turned her head she could see that Ninitiek had wrapped her arms around her and was holding her close to her.

“Miss Miyuka…please do not be sad.”

It was then that Miyuka realized she was crying. A quiet sob escaped her lips before she buried her face in Ninitiek’s shirt. She held onto Ninitiek tightly, her shoulders shaking with the force of her weeping. Ninitiek did nothing but hold her tightly and stroke her hair softly, much in the way a mother would to her weeping child.

How long both girls sat like that was unknown, but after a while Miyuka raised her head and wiped her tears away. “Sorry about that…” Miyuka refused to make any eye contact with the older female.

Ninitiek smiled warmly at her and hugged her again. “…it’s quite alright. You seem a bit more relaxed now… I feel a bit more relieved now.”

Miyuka raised her head to look at Ninitiek again. Upon seeing the warm smile on her face she felt herself calm down even more. There just seemed to be something about Ninitiek… She was very motherly…and warm. And easy to be with when everything felt wrong.

“Nini…I don’t want Myt to die.” Miyuka whispered softly and little drowsily. Her eyelids suddenly felt that much heavier as she relaxed more in the Celinox’ hold.

“Do not worry about that. Myt shall not perish as long as we are together.” And Ninitiek sounded so absolutely sure of herself that Miyuka dared to hope again. She didn’t know why she felt like Myt was on the verge of death, but now she felt reassured.

Surely everything will come out for the best, right?

~*~*~*~*~*~

After walking around rather aimlessly Myt made his way back to his current lodging. There was nothing of interest in the city and there was nothing of interest just outside of the city. He somehow didn’t doubt that something would happen once he reached ‘Sierrs’ Hobby Shop’, though.

And he was right. Leaning against the display window of the shop was Sierrs. It seemed like he was spacing off or something like that. He was just staring up at the sky with a blank expression on his face. Could it be possible that he was actually thinking for once?

Sierrs heard footsteps and immediately turned his attention to where the sound came from. His expression brightened when he saw Myt approach and he pushed himself off the window, making his way to him. He raised his hand up in a friendly greeting and smiled, “Hey, Myt. How was your walk?” Myt didn’t answer and just sat on the bench right that lay right outside the store. Sierrs huffed indignantly and went to sit next to him. “What’s up with all the gloom and doom?”

Once again it was silent. Sierrs was on the verge of saying something to break the silence, but Myt was faster. “I don’t know if I’m going to make it in time…”

Sierrs closed his mouth, opened it, then closed it again. Perfect imitation of a fish. He just blinked dumbly a few times at Myt, not saying anything for a while. “What do you mean, ‘you don’t think you’re going to make it in time’? You have to make it in time. Why else go through all that effort?” Saying that Sierrs was surprised would’ve been a pretty big understatement at the moment.

“Exactly what I’m saying. Everything is happening faster than either me or Kuren anticipated. I completely went berserk a few days ago, and I think it caused something in Ninitiek to happen. If Kuren hadn’t interfered I doubt either of us would be here today…”

If Sierrs had been at a loss of words earlier, he’d be downright flabbergasted if he were able to say anything intelligible right now. What Myt was saying didn’t sound good. It didn’t sound good at all. “You’re not…you’re not going to give up now, are you?”

Myt cast Sierrs a weary glance before look in front of him again. “Is there a point in continuing when you know you’re going to fail anyway?”

“You never know if you don’t at least try! The future isn’t set in stone! The future is the most unreliable thing in the existence of…unreliability!” There was a slight hint of desperation in the tone of Sierrs’ voice. “I mean, look at the progress you’ve made now. Almost a year…almost two years ago you were nothing but a helpless little Ruffie without a set destination. You just wandered around Subeta, hoping to eventually find what you were looking for, not believing you’d ever find it. Look at you now! You’ve got Miyuka, you’ve got Ninitiek… Heck, you even have Kuren helping out now! You can’t just give up!”

“Everyone’s lives are at stake here! In the beginning it was only mine. I never intended on dragging Miyuka or Ninitiek into this mess with me. Not this much, anyway. If we continue this suicide mission everyone will die, and I don’t want anymore deaths troubling my conscience.” There was a determined glint in Myt’s one visible eye. Sierrs backed away a little from Myt.

“So…it’s okay… It’s okay to burden everyone else?” The determined spark suddenly disappeared from Myt’s eye and in its place a confused one came. “So it’s okay…to go out on your own…probably die… And everything’s good, as long as everyone else is safe?” It seemed like Myt was going to nod, but he didn’t get the chance. A fist suddenly collided with his cheek, momentarily knocking the air out of him. Sierrs stood up angrily, picked Myt up by the collar of his shirt and stared at him angrily.

“How stupid can you get? So you’re going to drag someone all the way to the middle of the ocean and then just leave them there because you’re not sure you’ll find land before the supplies run out? That’s stupid, Myt, stupid. Do you even think these things through? How do you think the girls will react? Do you think they’ll just let you? Do you think Miyuka will let you drag her into this mess and then accept that she’s no longer of use? Do you think she’ll accept leaving the comfort of her home to travel through the ocean, just to get deserted somewhere in the middle? Myt…you’re all too deep in this mess now. You’ve all been since the moment you’ve come into contact with each other. Your encounters have sealed your fate from the beginning. There’s no turning back now. Neither of you.” Sierrs started to calm down, “You all might as well accept fate now with open arms. No matter how cruel it may be.”

Myt had listened to Sierrs speech silently. When Sierrs finished, though, he pushed himself away from Sierrs, gaze glued to the ground. “I don’t care. I don’t care what she or Ninitiek think. I can’t…I can’t continue doing this to either of them. Miyuka still has her whole life ahead of her, unlike me… I screwed my life up years ago.”

It was silent between both males for a while. Sierrs looked at the sky again, not tearing his gaze from the drifting clouds. “…I used to think like that, too. A long, long time ago…” He then fixed his gaze back on Myt, “That’s not the way to look at things. If you screwed up in the past there’s no reason to keep screwing up now. Make the best of what you’ve got left. Like I said earlier, the future is the most unreliable thing in the world. The past had happened, while the future had not.”

“But in the end, that same future will eventually become your past.”

“True, but for ever past there’s a future, is there not? I you screw up that one, there will always be another one to try with.”

Myt honestly didn’t have a comeback to that. Sierrs had made his point. He still didn’t see the point in continuing such a pointless journey, and he’d rather not let Miyuka see the outcome once it came to that, but… He was right, there was no escaping the path that was set out for him. No, them.

Myt started walking towards the shop, putting his hand on the handle of the door. Before he went inside, though, he turned to look at Sierrs, “Fine, I’ll continue. If anything happens, though… …I want you to take care of Miyuka.”

“I won’t.”

Myt looked at Sierrs, disbelief clearly evident in his one visible eye.

“I won’t, because you’ll be too busy doing that yourself. Wouldn’t want to intrude now, would I?”

Myt stared at Sierrs silent for a while before disappearing behind the door.

If only he had that much confidence in himself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kuren was floating somewhere high above the Shadowglen Graveyard. He hadn’t scared people in ages, but somehow he just wasn’t in the mood to scare anyone now either. He stared up in the sky, a few stars visible. Those few stars were a powerful contrast, compared to the starless skies of The Darkside.

He floated down to take a closer look at his surroundings. Not many people dared enter Shadowglen Graveyard. Then again, not many people were fond of graveyards in the first place. Once on the ground he looked around. Not a single living being was nearby. After having accepted that fact Kuren continued his private tour of the graveyard he knew so well.

After flying around for who knew how long – it was hard to tell since it was always pretty dark here, even when it was day – he suddenly stopped, a soft sound getting his attention. He looked around, trying to find the source of said sound, but he just couldn’t seem to locate it. After looking around aimlessly he finally saw what was making that pitiful noise.

It was a pet. A pet which Kuren wasn’t familiar with. He crouched near the suffering animal. Its breathing was ragged and there was a steady flow of blood coming from somewhere on its body. When it saw Kuren it squeaked pitifully, as if begging for help. For a split second Kuren was surprised. It was helping him for his help? …of course. It didn’t know who he was.

The animal’s squeaking continued. It was heart wrenching to see the animal suffer like that. Kuren had to commend it, though. It had quite the fighting spirit.

“Maybe Myt could learn a thing or two from you…”

The animal blinked unknowingly at Kuren, not understanding. Why wasn’t he helping him? It continued squeaking, desperately hoping that he would do something to ease its suffering. It didn’t want to die. Not yet, anyway.

Kuren just stared at it with a sad expression on his face. “I’m sorry…there’s only one thing I can do to help you… Forgive me.” Kuren said apologetically. He held his hand out and covered the animal with it. It was small enough to disappear completely beneath it. Kuren couldn’t feel its accelerated breathing and its squeaking started up once again. After a couple of seconds the squeaking started dying down, it breathing along with it, until it ultimately stopped moving at once.

It was dead.

Kuren scooped the animal up in his hand and looked at it. It’s bleeding had stopped, the wound completely gone. Its eyes were closed and it seemed…peaceful. For a split second Kuren was satisfied. Suddenly a sharp pain emitted from his chest and with the hand that wasn’t holding the now dead animal, he clutched his chest.

He wasn’t supposed to be feeling like this. He was never supposed to feel like this. He wasn’t allowed to feel like this. Still clutching his chest tightly he sank to his knees, fighting back tears that weren’t supposed to be there in the first place.

It was dead. The animal was dead. He had killed it. Him. But…

“…it’s what I’m supposed to do…” He whispered to no one in particular. Once the pain in his chest subsided he used both hands to hold the animal. He gently placed it back on the spot he had found him and stood up. He took a couple of steps back and stared at the lifeless from of the animal.

Just a few minutes ago it had been so full of life. Fighting to stay alive…

Without his consent tears started streaming down his cheeks and he clenched his chest tightly once again.

“I never knew that feeling like this could be so painful. I never knew that being like this…could be so god damned lonely.” It was when he spoke these words, when the tears wouldn’t stop and when the pounding in his chest ceased to desist that Kuren discovered something.

This was the first time in his life he ever cried.

For the first time in his life…he had wished he hadn’t taken someone’s life.

And this was the first time in his life that he had felt so dreadfully alive.